Love Is A Losing Game
by NerdDamon
Summary: He pulls out a single red rose from the inside of his leather jacket. I look at it suspiciously. It still has its thorns, not unlike him in that respect. -COMPLETE- #TVDMixing


_**#TVDMixing**: Dedicated to mayghaen17: my first writing buddy in TVD fandom. Her stories always pushed my favorite edges. Check her out._

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My hands tremble against the railing of the escalator. Maybe he didn't see me. I look away and take a deep breath.

There's no way.

There's no way that he's here. Not in this mall. Not in this small town.

This isn't Damon's style.

A hundred times, at least, I have reassured myself that I never saw him just a few minutes ago in the shoe store. At least a decade has passed since our last encounter. Not as if time hae made any difference. I never stopped thinking of him... But no, I was wrong. He wasn't here. Not today.

I nod confidently to myself as I step off the escalator to the top floor of the fine department store. Everything is overpriced, I notice quickly as I scan the tags. I can't afford anything here on my teaching salary. Oh well, charge will have to do- I need a new winter coat. Aisles and aisles have been searched by me, but nothing suits my style. Everything looks either too young or too old.

It's because you're still thinking of him- you're thinking of Damon; my mind won't stop chiding me. I firmly place these god awful thoughts on the back burner and grab a coat from the nearest rack at absolute random. I need something to do and fast before I go mad.

In the dressing room, it's as if I expect him to be waiting for me on the other side of the door, but he isn't. What's wrong with me? What makes today, so goddamn special? Nothing.

I take a long, somewhat annoyed breath as I stare into the mirror at my reflection. The coat is much too large on my small frame. It barely shows off my waist. I tilt my head, inspecting the natural lines that have appeared on my face. My dark brown eyes still shine of tragedy; there's no hiding those invisible scars even in my greatest art of reinvention. With my dark brown hair dyed a lighter shade, I'm nearly unrecognizable with it at shoulder length and bangs. Walking down the street, no one would see the old Elena Gilbert, even if she's still a part of me.

I look older than I used to and it's because I am older. Gloriously so at last...

In the end, I don't buy the coat. I couldn't afford it anyway. Oh well, a trip to the mall had been a pleasent way to spend the most manufactured day of the year. As I look for my car in the garage, I'm wondering why I even bothered thinking of Damon. It's not as if we ever spent a Valentine's day together. We never got that far. I sigh at my own foolish sentimentality as I look down at my ring-less finger while opening my car door and step into my seat.

Not even one second later... I can't breathe!

And I can't scream either! A complete loss of oxygen! Somebody, anybody, help me, I'm screaming internally. I attempt to bang my hands against the steering wheel in hopes that it will create some noise but fortunately, I am released from the tight hold.

"So, it's true then- you're human." He says, joining me in the front seat. He doesn't look a day older. His face reminds me of a perfect work of art, simply frozen in time for others to appreciate.

"Damon." I state, still out of breath. I wipe my face and neck with my hands. I'm terribly dizzy to the point that I can't get angry. I truly can't believe that he just did that. He's impulsive as ever, but deep down, I know he's better than this. Even after all this time, Damon cares for me.

A million questions come to mind as my dizziness finally fades. I'm about to ask one of many as he pulls out a single red rose from the inside of his leather jacket. I look at it suspiciously. It still has its thorns, not unlike him in that respect.

"You're not funny." I'm seething now as I step out of my car. I need air and more importantly, I need to get away from him. The idea of walking home is stupid, but I'm stubborn enough to do it.

I run my hands through my hair in exasperation over my current situation. I'm messing up my perfectly-crafted bangs in every which way. I can't look at him, even if he's less than inch away from me now. He gets off on doing this to me- making me face him. And oh god, I can smell him. He smells the same. Bourbon, leather and the vintage musk of books. Damon's scent alone makes me want to drown in him before I can set my mind straight.

"You don't have the right to be angry." He announces in a voice that's more clear than loud. In fact, his voice is tender, more so than my memory has ever served.

The difference in Damon's voice alone is enough to bring my dark brown eyes up to meet his light ones. "I was tired." I cry out. My words should have been stronger, I admit, but at least they are completely true. I had been tired of the endless tragedy, the crying and most of all the danger. I grew up and he never did, I guess you could say.

"You mean you were through with me." He spat back. "Got your fill, is that it?" And his voice, oh god- it cuts more deep than a knife into the spine of me.

"It's not that simple, Damon." I reply and it hurts with that blade still in me, twisting, unfolding me. I've entered a new dimension. Heartbreak's got nothing on this.

"You left without a note." He continues.

I swallow thickly and a single, treacherous tear rolls down my cheek. My lips lick and swallow the tear that I swore would never fall from my eyes again.

I look away and suddenly, it's as if I'm freezing. A current has slipped through our bodies- separating who we were and who we are now. My arms cross to hold my body, creating a shield for myself and I look back at him with hard eyes. "I woke up human, Damon." I say icy as I feel with my chin raised high.

Seconds pass and nothing is said by either of us. I'm the one that makes the next move. I grab his right hand and -make- him feel my heart with its every pounding thump. He needs to feel it, to understand it, I rationalize. Maybe then, maybe he'd leave me be.

"I never wanted the cure." I admit, as if I hadn't already said that a million times in the past. "Yet for whatever reason... the universe-." Oh hell, I say that word for every syllable that it's worth because the universe loves to screw with me. Doesn't it?

"The universe turned me back." I drop his hand, pretending it means nothing to me, and my hands return to my sides.

There, done. That was the only explanation that Damon Salvatore was going to get from Elena Gilbert. I was through with this supernatural crap. I have been living fine without him. I was going to get back in my car and I was going to drive back to my apartment.

Hell, someday I'd forget the way that he's looking at me right now. We were over, are over.

"Fine." Damon says as I place my hand on my car door. I can't make it anymore obvious to him that I don't want to see him anymore.

"You never could love me like this. Could you?" He retorts and he's breaking me down.

I hang my head low at his accusatory question. Why does it always have to come back to this conversation?

"No, Damon, you've got it all wrong. What we had... what we had was real." It's physically painful to say the words because they mean that much to me. I can't lie to him. He doesn't deserve one, I owe him the truth. "You just didn't love yourself enough to see it." I mumble, but of course, he hears every word with his enhance senses.

Out of breath for a second time in such a short span, I am pinned to my car door and his lips remain dangerously close to mine. I can feel his cool, unneeded breath against my lips and I could nearly nearly beg him to close the distance. Yet I hold my position, strong as ever. I refuse to do this again. We can't do this again. It'll bring us nothing but misery.

"Why can't this be enough?" Damon whispers against my lips, and of course- he means us and what we mean to each other. My eyes come to a close because I know that's he's got me in a stalemate.

"Why can't it be enough that I never stopped loving you? Not for a single second of ever single day that you were gone. I waited for you to come home."

If I dare to open my eyes, it'll be my ultimate surrender. I am well aware of this. I'll see the truth in his plea. Humanity on or not, Damon has a soul and I've seen it in his eyes. I make a muffled, uncertain noise that sounds more like a needy groan.

And apparently, it's enough encouragement for Damon to take my lips. Just like that, I am lost to him. The kiss is sharp and brutal. It hurts... hurts so much. Trust me, I knew all along. No one will ever kiss me like him. I'd be lying to myself to even pretend that anyone understands like he does.

When Damon pulls back... it's just not fair. He can't take this away from me. Not so fast. I won't allow it. With strong and determined hands, I grab him by the lapels of his leather jacket and force my hips fully on his. Our hands are everywhere. Hair to hips to legs until my legs are locked securely around his waist.

We begin to push and pull against each other like an ocean wave that can't ever break. My head bangs against the car until his lips lock back on mine and I'm pulling on his hair. God dammit, I know exactly what I want. I want his teeth in my neck. I need to bleed down his throat. I'll be inside of him until I bring him back to life for that every dead day that he spent without me. I'll make it up to him.

We are an unpolished wreck as my back bluntly hits the asphalt of the parking garage's floor, but somehow, I'm still pulling on his hair to give me what I want. My legs grip his waist in a tight vice and I flip him over. Damon allows my human form to have this controlled luxury because it's all he ever wanted. I know him too well. He prefers to be inside of me, while surrending himself to me at the same time in symmetry.

I want us just as bad as my hands scratch against his black shirt and a few buttons break along the way. My tongue darts out to run a single line down his chest until I reach the top of his jeans. It's my memorized dance, the way that I unzip his tight black jeans and push my skirt, knickers away to straddle him. My back arches backward in a pose of pure reckoning of pleasure. No noises are emitted from my lips because the deafening silence speaks volumes. I've come home. Damon is my home.

The past few years without Damon were hollow. Nothing more than going through the motions. I make this bliding realization as I finally cry with a push of my hips forward while watching his face meet every mark of rapture. Yes, I'm absolutely certain that he feels the exact way.

I push forward and my hands run up Damon's hard muscular body. As if it were yesterday, I still remember every line of his body, especially the angular ones that lead to his hips. Watching my eyes, Damon pushes his hips up once and my palms pound down on his chest in a battle cry of primal lust. I am in control and Damon will relent for now. He'll take what he can he get, putting his arms behind his head as I continue to ride him.

My remarkbly human body has power over him as I rock roughly against his chest. "Missed this." I mutter and neither of us know if he was supposed to hear my resolute confession.

This far gone into rapture, all I know is the gratification of being filled to the hilt. All I know is Damon. No one but him can make me feel this way- amazingly alive and that's got to count for something in this messed up universe. The urgency of my motions begin to speed up as I want more of him . God, I want to keep him forever and I'm not sure if I've said that aloud yet. We have time for confessions later.

Too soon, my downward thrusts are undisciplined until they form no pattern at all. Damon whines with each push up and I squeeze until his hips buck up harder, using some of his supernatural strength for the first time.

With whiplash force, I let out a high pitch scream that echoes in the empty parking garage. The force of my climax is unimaginable as I violently rock back and forth as my thighs shake around him. Quickly losing control of the ethereal plane, my eyes roll back into my final completion. When I come through, I notice that Damon has flashed us against a cement pillar.

Damon is continuing to drive into me as his mouth finds mine, never missing a single corner. I lazily kiss him back while catching my sanity at the same time. It's too much, too much pleasure. My head collapses against his shoulder, leaving my neck open the taking just like I calculated.

Fully possessing at last, Damon's fangs sunk into my newly virgin flesh. I moan along to his bite as my thighs grip him tighter since he's still inside of me. Slowly, my eyes shut in utter exhaustion as I accept that he's got me.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I swear that he said, but what did it matter. We have each other.

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Thank you for reading my stories. Thank you for following me.

Mayghaen sent me an angsty prompt for this story, but I didn't post the specifications. Didn't wanna kill the suspense!

Lots of love.


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